Just barely happened

Warning this is graphic and not for the faint of heart.
So I am at school deep in study when I realize there is a tingling feeling that suddenly hits me. I decide to get up and go to the bathroom to relieve myself from all the pressure. I walk into the bathroom and as soon as the odors hit my nose, I realize I would love to punch whoever just left this bathroom. Onward though I must go and I walk over to the urinal. Men have been blamed for years for their inability to aim. I think of myself as a pretty good shot, but this day there were obstacles. As I look on the ground, its real shiny from all the little droppings that have occured over the last day or two. I think what happens is first someone has one or two drops fall. Then the next guy that comes into the stall has to step back a few inches so they are not stepping in someone else's drops. Since they are back a couple inches, they drip a few drops a few more inches back. The next person comes in and bam two more inches back. You can see the progression and by the time I got to the bathroom, I am standing at the door trying to aim. Well not quite that far, but it was 2 feet. Don't worry when I was done I was sure to put a few drops down so the next person has to stand 2 feet and 2 inches.

What I like to do most

One of the talents God gave me was the ability to complain about something no matter what the situation. So for the last 4 and half years since I have known my wife she had enough of my complaining and told me to start a blog. When she said that I thought to myself, "No way I am going to go typing stupid entries on a computer and wasting my valuable time." As you can see from my response I immediatly had a complaint. So now I am going to try and keep track of all the complaints I have in life. Its early in the morning and I already have a couple. For one, my newest, sweetest, nicest daughter decided to poop her pants. So I get all the weapons ready, wipes on one side, butt cream on the other, and the new diaper in hand ready for whatever may come. It actually went real smooth, I unbuttoned her outfit and got the stinky stuff taken care of, got the new diaper on and buttoned up her outfit. I wrapped her up in the blanket and just about this time I hear, "BOOOOOOOOOMMMM" and world war III started. Actually she just needed another diaper after only 2 seconds of having a fresh one on her butt. So this is my complaint, I am sure there will be thousands more to come.